Am I truly, deeply, darkly — sadly alone in this? In the fact that I can binge-watch Mr. Ballen or Kallmekris any given day, or — how about Rotten Mango?
What is my fascination behind these dark horrific stories that are true? What is yours? Am I opening a can of worms here by posing these questions or writing about this?
If I am.. sorry not sorry.
I genuinely want to know what others think when they watch true crime.
Therein — lies the words — true; truth.
Do many of us have a fascination around gore and death because it’s real, and for some it: “just cannot be true” — others “how could they…??”
Monsters..!
For me, there are various reasons, mostly it’s around a kind of test for myself to see if I can pinpoint why a serial killer/murderer has done what he/she has committed, and for this to pan out I watch and wait patiently for the part about their childhood… which sadly 99% of the time I’m correct, and I think with all the stories out there today — most of us are starting to understand that majority of adult-issues stem from childhood.
Where this comes from is my obsession with the human mind. I’m not a psychologist (yet) or psychiatrist, but I’ve studied the basics and it amazes me to see how we evolve from these little beings into what most killers are tagged as “monsters”.
They’re sick, yes, and for most it’s from what they had to endure from birth, for a select few however, there is still no known cause for them committing the act of killing (other than some who display disorders such as Psychopathy and other mental health conditions).
One that sits with me is the case about Amarjeet Sada, I watched this documentary on ‘Rotten Mango’ (— love her stuff, she has an incredible gift for story-telling!) about this little boy in India, who had killed 3 babies by the time he was 8.. years old. Barely out the crib and he’s already killed his baby cousin, then his baby sister followed by a strangers baby. I can’t decide if the worst part of this case was that his parents and neighbors didn’t alert the police after his first murder which was by means of strangling his 6 month old cousin while she was sleeping in her cot, and then proceeded to then take her out to the back garden where he crushed her skull with a brick, and buried her in a shallow grave.
Yeah.
Upon the third murder of the strangers’ baby, he was finally caught, but because he was only 8, he was sent to a ‘Remand home’ — or Children's’ Home, till he was released when he turned 18.
He’s a free man today, no one knows his whereabouts, identity was changed etc. — oh and — he’s apparently married too now. I’ll let that sink in a bit for you.
8 years old.
At 8, I — you — most of us were playing with friends, running on beaches or climbing trees.. thinking about the next exciting trip, sweet to eat, party to go to, secrets to tell friends…I mean it fascinates me to no extent what must have gone through his mind! But the way the story is told, and from what I’ve researched myself, he lacked empathy — at all.
That — is a scary thing on it’s own when you think about it. Have you ever met someone in your life that gives off this air of ‘zero’ emotional output? I’ve only ever seen those types devoid of any emotion on screens — Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Samuel Little.. It’s a veeerryyy long list of names I could keep typing but one thing I’ve noticed is the eyes — as many do, they’re completely ‘vacant’.. black… nothing.
There’s something Jordan Peterson said recently in an interview with Laila Mickelwait,(link below),where he spoke briefly about ‘Sadism’, a topic he talks much about in his videos/podcasts, it caught my attention because of how accurately he depicted what it is:
“The worst possible crime is to corrupt the most innocent victim, aligning this with the core of sadism”. Jordan Peterson
Jordan Peterson interview with Laila Mickelwait
Corrupt
The most innocent victim.
Child-killers are the worst ones’ out there, nothing can beat the emotions of hearing about the murder of an innocent child, especially those little beings who have been subjected to horrific torture before-hand.
Nothing.
To understand the core of who these ‘people’ are, is where I’m often caught between rage and understanding. As most of us who watch these things, and where Jordan Peterson fascinates me is his ability to speak about these deplorable animals in a factual manner, this comes from his intellect and clarity around how the human mind works.
He’s an incredible teacher, one that I aspire to be like when I grow up. One day.
I could go on about this topic, but I’d rather hear back from those of my fellow beings out there who tend to be drawn into these stories and the why behind it.
Thank you for reading, please stay safe x
Interesting point about finding the reasons in childhood, we do seem to find what we want where we look, don't we? But is it not is a fact of an indifferent nature that extremes persist because the trade off exchanged for reproductive security over millennia is worth a few monsters?